Much of my time is spent accompanying my child and supporting him through hospital stays, specialist visits and complex medical procedures.
It has made me question....why?
Why did this happen to Nicholas?
Why did this happen to me?
At times, it feels like life itself has become a form of punishment.
Lately however, my mind is tired of my complaints and constant questioning.
Perhaps it is this holiday season of thankfulness that has warmed my Grinch-like heart.
But this week, when I questioned once again....why, I was answered quite suddenly by a stern voice in my mind that asked:
I must admit, for a moment I was stunned, frozen by the impact of these two simple words.
The persistent voice continued to address me.
Why not care for this beautiful child?
Why not embrace and celebrate his existence?
Why not explore the meaning of his life?
Why not teach others to embrace him and see the spirit that lies beneath?
Certainly there are worse fates, what if I had nothing and no one to worry about?
My mind could be filled with trivial thoughts and trivial things.
My days could be filled with meaningless inaction.
What if instead of caring for another, I was caring for only my empty self?
If not this life, then whose life would I want and how long would I be happy?
Now perhaps by asking these questions, I really am just going insane by talking to myself.
Perhaps I am in the process of slowly losing my mind.
But I must admit, these questions have got me thinking about my life.
I am thinking about a life that is devoted to caring for another, a silent soulful other who possess a pure heart and an innocent spirit. He embodies an unconditional love for others and has much to teach the world.
Perhaps the question is not why am I being punished, but instead, why am I so blessed?
How can I improve the care this child deserves and help the world to see him better?
Perhaps I have a lot to be thankful for?
Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.
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